although i can safely say after nearly four years i am better i now question what really happened to me for although it was me in there i felt as though there were two of us fighting a desperate battle and yes i won in the end, but at what cost!!!! In my mind i was a bad mother but the battle was for my sanity. My husband remembers quite fondly me saying i was better because the voices were telling me i was better. It nearly cost me my marriage and even now things are not as they were and i know they will never be as it is the price we have to pay. Although my relationship with my son is good and he suffered no ill effects from my illness it was my eldest son and my husband who suffered both in different ways. My son who was fifteen when his brother was born when he got to sixteen plus suffered depression lots of reasons for it but one of them was me. At the same time my husband was at the doctors with the same thing Thank god Robert our baby was oblivious to it all. Now when i should be feeling good as i am off the medication back to as normal a life as i can why is it that i am feeling as low as i have ever felt. I want to get over it and i have in many ways but i still feel there is a battle to be fought and its called surviving mental illness The question i want to know is do we ever get over it i hope so !!!!
Oh by the way Robert is not my name its Jenny it just seemed right at the time to call my writing Robert as it was about Robert my son.
