Im Not The Same

[emmajane]

hi all just want to share my awful experiance of this devastating illness,
it all happened 3 years ago after the birth of my third child my 1st two children were boys,but my third child was a girl,and it was after i gave birth to my daughter that i got this illness.
when i was little i suffered dreadfully as a child i was negleted by my mother not just phisicaly but mentaly and emotionaly aswell so when i gave birth tomy daughter the memories of my childhood came flooding back and my brain could not deal with it so it shut down and my sub conscience took over well thats the way i see it anyway as doctors are not 100% sure as to why this illness happens.

i hate the illness it has affected my life so much and is for ever holding me back i hate to tell people or talk about this with people because as you tell them you can see there facial experessions change and stright away you know they think differently about you,at the age of 22 i suffered this illness so it was a huge knock on what little confiedence i had although i got the best medical care that was avalible i hated knowing that i was mental having a mental health team visit you every week seeing a psyciatrist every week the same stupid questions asked you every week i hated it all so when i moved away from the area i never registered with a doctor and never let the mental health team know where i lived and when i was once feeling very fragil and unwell i confided in a friend and told her how i was feeling and she told me not to tell the doctors because if i did i would have my children taken away from me so i never did see the doctor so some times i have paranoid days which i know is treatable with anti psychotics i would love to be able to live my life to the full and forget about the illness just have that memorie wiped away or some threpy that helps with your confidence or something to get over it anything like that that is hopfully free as i dont get disabillity for this illness i was told i was not entitled to it? is that true?
i do ponder some days and ask myself "why me" out of the 1 in 1000 women that suffer this rare ilness "why me" :angry:

[blossemhoney]

I understand how you feel, i had pp nearly 10 months ago and i still feel different,
but unlike you im not ashamed to tell people i have been ill.
In fact all my friends know, some of them understand some dont but really i don't give a dam what they think.
If you still think you are ill and get paranoid you should see a doctor.
They will not take your children away I see my doctor nearly every month and a cpa every week.
I was in hospital 5 and a half months, I don't need or have social services involved.
Your friend may be wrong and they are the only people who can make you feel better and sort your medication
Take care
blossem  

[Kay]

Sorry you feel this way still hunni xx

It took me a good couple of years to get over if I'm honest, and I also lost all my confidence during this time xx

It was only after I made some real life changing decisions and changed my environment totally then rebuilt my life pretty much that I started to feel like me again xx In saying that I do think that my PP changed me forever but gradually I accepted it as part of my life, a part of me basically and that's when I came to terms with it xx Recovery is a gradual thing I think xx it doesn't happen over night but over time xx

Your friend is wrong sweety xx they will not take your kids away xx My advice would be to register with a doctor, try a female one, and tell them what's happened and what's going on xx I really do feel that without the help I received I would not have recovered so well xx

Mental health is nothing to be ashamed of xx The one thing I was told was not to bottle up how I was feeling but to talk about it and let it out xx at one stage all I spoke about to anyone who would listen was my PP and what had happened to me xx For me, I think that played a big part in my recovery xx

Take care of yourself and think about speaking with a healthcare professional xx