Hi There

[vikki]

Hello

My name is vikki, I have had Post NAtal Illness since March last year.

I have tried many different anti depressants, and due to an allergy, I have struggled to fine one that works, I am due to start taking Prozac in a liquid form soon.

I see a psychiatrist fortnightly, but other than that, I ahve no other support.

I have had a particulary bad week this week as it is half term and my parents, sister and friends are all on holiday.

I do have the support of another online forum, but it is quiet at the moment and I thought I would try somewhere else for extra support.

I seem to be getting worse as time goes on rather than better, and I have been unable to return to work since I finished my maternity leave.

I get cross with myself that I am not better yet, I feel I should be better, and usually end up telling people I am better to please them.

I evenhave troub;e telling my Psychiatrist how I am really feeling.

anyway, I hope I can find some support here, or elsewhere, as I seem to be drowning

Many Thanks

Vikki

[dave]

Hi Vikki - thanks for your post.

As you may have seen, this forum is very new and has very few members at the moment - I think we have five and that includes Admin. I don't want to discourage you from seeking support here - that's what the forum's for, I just wanted to let you know that not many people are registered here. That said, I check the forum pretty much every day just in case.

I'm not a psychiatrist, but from your post I can feel your pain, even if I don't understand it. I'd imagine switching drugs regularly, even if for a good reason, doesn't help the way you feel. I do know though, that drugs like Prozac do take time to start to work and they do need to be given a fair chance. I understand it can take a month, sometimes longer, for you to even start to feel any better.

Never having suffered from depression I find it difficult to understand exactly what you're feeling. However, I do understand that people's family and friends can react very differently to this kind of situation. I hope you feel you have support from your family and friends, though equally I can understand if you feel invaded by everyone trying to help you.

To ask what's probably a silly question, if you don't mind (I am a bloke), what do you feel you're drowning in?

Please let me know if anything I've asked is inappropriate.

[vikki]

I feel like I am drowning with my thoguhts.

I suffer like a lot of women, with "Dark Thoughts", I really thought I was freak when I had them, but soon found out I was not alone, I am having Cognitive Behaviour therapy to combat these, but it does take time, and some of the thought srae deeply intrenched, and I can't yet attack these on my own.

It gets to the point when the thoughts are so true, I think they have happened, and even talking about it is deeply ditressing.

Sorry about being a bit serious for your first post.

[dave]

No need to apologise - it's a serious topic and sadly there's not much lighthearted about it.

You're certainly not alone though. Despite official statistics saying this is a rare thing to happen, 1 in 1000 or 1 in 100 is actually a hell of a lot of people. It's kind of cruel, but sometimes it's reassuring to know there are others, and a lot of others, like you.

I only hope they can help you and others like you to realise you're not alone, you're not unusual or strange and you are supported.

Sorry if I'm not much good at this - I'm not really sure what I should be writing, but if you feel you want to, let us know how you get on.

[Cara]

Hi there. Its good reading that other people suffer from this awful condition. My son is now 1year old and I battled on for 6months without admitting I had pnd. I feel like I can't get out of bed, I generally feel like my get up and go has gone. I have a beautiful son and a lovelly husband and I constanly feel guilty about not been 'happy'.
The gp has prescribed me prozac but to be honest I don't have much faith in it, I have taken it religously for the past 5-6months and I still feel so low. I would really like to talk to some trained professional but I have not been offered it and I feel stupid going to ask as I have said to the gp and health visitor at my last appointments that everythings now rosy as I can't stand thinking Im wasting their time with my miserable moans.
My husband is feeling the strain of my constant low moods and I just want to feel better. Going for a shower in the morning is THE hardest thing, second to actually leaving the house but I find once Im up and about the day gets easier. Im going to make an appointment with my gp this week as Im now at breaking point. I work long hours, My son is a poor sleeper and I have very little family/friends support at the moment. I just want to get better.