wife has pp

[stuart]

my wife gave birth to our gorgeous daughter in march 2006,daughter had complications during birth so wife had to have emergency c-section,during this she lost a lot of blood but was above the count to have a blood transfusion.
a few days later wife was having bad nightmares,which included daughter in the corner looking like the devil,and also that spiders where in her veins,the docs put it down to loss of blood so she had the transfusion.
daughter was born on a tuesday,on the following sunday they said they where both well enougth to come home,wifes mum came to hospital to help me with all the gifts and cards,i went down to car to get the baby seat looking forward to them both coming home.
when i returned back to ward there was no sign of wife in room and her mum looked worried,i asked where wife was and she said they had to take her to anouther room as she had flipped out,with that a nurse came in and asked if i could go in the other room to calm wife down,when i entered said room,wife was being pinned down by 5 nurses,they had to give her a calming drug,the only way they could was by anal.
anyway,mental health ppl where called in and they decided she had to be taken to a mental health place for her own well being,there was me with my daughter watching my wife being taken away strapped into a chair.
so i was left alone with our first new born wondering what was going on,thankfully my mam and step dad came to stay with me the night to help me.
my wife was admitted to a mother and baby unit on the tuesday,meaning myself and daughter could stay with her,we was living there for 2 weeks,and wife was in no fit state to help with daughter.

after a years and half of treatment she came off the drugs and was discharged,she was the women i had married and gave birth to our daughter,i had her back.
then in december 2008 she had a set back,i had to section her under the mental health act for her own good,3 weeks in a mental home and more time off work for me.
in june 2009 i had to quit my job to become her full time carer,she is still on medication,and still no light at the end of the tunnel,she is no better then she was over a year ago,she still gets councelling.
but if anything she has gone backwards rather then forwards,ive chatted with her mental health team saying im not happy,but they didnt listen to me,so at the moment,i have to go with what meds and treatment they give her.

[Kay]

Hi Stuart

Welcome to the forum xx

So so sorry to hear that your wife has this awful illness and everything that you have both been through xx

Did your wife have any underlying MH issues before the birth?  Or a history of MH problems in her family? xx

My own personal experiences of the NHS mental health services are very poor indeed xx they couldn't even manage a diagnosis or the correct medication in my case xx I was in the Very fortunate position of being able to go private which is what put me on the road to recovery for good xx I felt that I was locked away and forgotten about under the NHS, at first they did not even acknowledge that the baby may have had something to do with it xx

I realise that others may not be in a position to go into the private sector, however I would continue to make as much noise as possible, phone calls and request assistance daily from the NHS, this in my experience is the only way for you to actually get the help and assistance you need xx The squeaky wheel gets oiled if you know what I mean xx

I had severe PP nearly 10 years ago and was sectioned, no mother and baby units anywhere.  At first the local GP said that I would be like this for the rest of my life and that I would have "episodes" forever.  When sectioned, I was left with no washing facilities, no clean clothes and put on a mental ward with general mental health patients and pretty much ignored.  I had no contact with my new baby and no one told me what was happening or what was going on.  They kept me waiting for hours on end telling me a doctor was coming to assess me, they never came.  Eventually my family took me out of there and drove me to a private hospital, who took me in straight away gave me medication, cleaned me up and told my family and I what the problem was and what had caused it.  Within 36 hours I was discharged, they wanted to keep me longer but were conscious of the costs involved and that I was paying privately.  I was given lots of strong, addictive medication to last for a week and was given a decreasing amount so that I was weaned off them.  They were always at the end of the phone and advised my family and I of the aftercare that I needed to get through what had happened.  The NHS health visitor, who had done nothing and had not helped or intervened when quite clearly I had been unwell, then tried to push a load more medication down my throat.  She stood in my kitchen and told me that if I didn't take the strong anti depressants that she had brought me that I would end up being sectioned again.  I was devastated.  I took the tablets for two days and they turned me into a zombie again when actually i had been starting to feel a lot better.  So I flushed them down the toilet and never looked back.

Sorry for the waffle, got carried away lol xx My point is this; I have never suffered any form of "episodes" again.  I have fully recovered from my PP and have not had to take further medication.  You can ask your GP for a referral into the private sector if you feel you are not getting anywhere with your local MH team.

I hope that the above gives you some sort of hope Stuart xx I'm sorry I waffled on a bit, just wanted you to know that you are not alone and that people do get better and make a full recovery xx Keep pushing to get BOTH of you the right help and support xx

Thinking of you and your wife xx

[stuart]

hi kay...

thanks for the reply

my wife or her family didnt have any MH problems before the birth of our daughter,to begin with they tried to say it was because of her mum and dad seperating at a early age,and it was the trauma of that that brought on the PP.

when it first happened wife was under a professor who had been through it herself and then went onto gain medical degree in PP so she helped a lot.then she was under a mental health nurse who came to our house every week to talk about it and help her deal with it,which helped wife a lot.now the new mental health nurse doesnt come to our house at all,only contact wife has with her is when she goes to have her injection(for med)once every 2 weeks.

the new nurse doesnt seem as tho she knows what she is doing,when we are in counselling(review) with a doctor she just seems to repeat the things he says,i didnt like her from the start.

we are still waiting for a support nurse to come and help with wife,as in helping her get out of the house and giving her the support to intergrate with other ppl,and hopefully on the road to getting back to work,thankfully her work has still kept her place open for her to go back when ever she feels right to.

wife has read what you have put about the nhs and has just rang them up to say she isnt happy herself and wants the meds changing back to what she was on,as there was progress with her old meds before they changed them.

so we are now waiting to go and see the doctor again now,and talk again with him.


so fingers crossed soething might happen for the better soon.

[liz mccallum]

Hi Stuart, Sorry to hear about your wife. You appear to be a sensative husband. If you read my story (gran looking for a reason) you will see that my daughter received electric shock treatment. You will be thinking what an horrific way to treat this but I can truley say that this was the only treatment for her. My daughter was locked away for 12 weeks unable to even see her baby. they tried different medicaion but these did not work. As you will read my daughter has never had any relapses. I remember them telling us that if the shock treatment didn't work she could remain in the mental ward forever. Thank god it worked and she has never looked back. I'm not saying this could work for everybody but I know this was the only thing that worked for her. God bless you son and take care of your wife and family. It does get better.

[stuart]

hi liz,and thanks for replying.
ill have a read of youre story,about the shock treatment,i didnt think they still did things like that tho?
i suppose im lucky that my wife is at least home with me and not on a mental ward.

as for a update on seeing her doc about changing her medication we are still waiting for them to get back to us,i sometimes wonder if i should take things into my own hands and see how she is without the medication as at moment she is just like a zombie,doesnt help much around the house,sleeps most of the day,no personnel hygiene.ive tried talking to my wife about these things but she doesnt seem to listen,tells me she will try harder but next day its back to same.

[liz mccallum]

Hi Stuart, The electric treatment worked well for my daughter. They thought 6 treatments would have worked but she had to get 12. They can do this as an outpatient. I think you should speak to your wife's consultant and ask him his advice. The patient does not feel anything. They get a mild sedative and wake up feeling a whole lot better each treatment. I have heard of some patients only need a couple of shocks to bring them back to what they were like before getting PP.

[stuart]

hi liz....

we had a meeting on monday,i didnt want to ask about shock treatment,as at last they are changing her meds,there is a new drug which has come out(cant remember what the name is),which they are trying her on,its the same as what she has been on before,but there is no side affects,again cant remember with so much going on,ill find out what the new one is,and what the old one was.

if there is no improvement tho,im going to ask about shock treatment.

thank you.

[liz mccallum]

Hi Stuart, Hope the new drug works. If it doesn't please ask about the electric shock treatment. You and others will think its barbaric but I cant stress enough that it worked for my daughter. She has never looked back.  They had tried all the other drugs but none worked. She didn't even get to see her son for 12 weeks as he was at too great a risk. I remember the first time she got to see him. A trained nurse had to be with her at all times. Look after your wife. Can I just finish by saying it takes a strong marriage to come through this. You have done well.

[stuart]

hi liz,if this new drug dont work im going to ask them about the electric shock treatment.as nothing seems to be working at mo,i dont know if its cause of the care she is not getting/or the drugs,like ive said,when she had it 4 years ago,5 days after birth of daughter,she got a lot of care and came of the drugs and was fine.

i must admit,ive had days when ive 4ought about leaving her,but then think to myself,if it wasnt for her going through birth of our gorg daughter,she wouldnt have this illness,its not a nice thing for women to go through.

i just wish there was more i could do to make ppl aware of this.

wife did have a article in "take a break" magazine a bit ago,but the way they printed it,didnt say much.

we 4ought it would be a double page spread about it,it was a little bit on a single page.
thank you for saying im doing well,its the women who need the thanks for coping with this tho,as it is so missunderstood.

[stuart]

update on wife...she is back on the medication she was about 6 months ago,and she is a lot more aware of what is happening....

she still has her off days,but she is back to being more like herself,still not 100% tho....

just read on here about sumone else having ect treatment,so i think its about time i looked into this with my wifes consultants at next meeting..

[cazzy83]

Hi i had pp 10 yrs ago i dont think i ve ever fully recovered although im a no longer on medication i still suffer periods of depression on an off. This is my first time on this site. Im sorry 2 hear bout yr wife. I havent heard of this shock treatment in this day an age an sounds like it could cause more truma ?

[Debra]

Hi Cazzy, nice to hear from you on the forum, I'm sure you will find the support here really helpful.  I had pp 12 years ago and although I recovered I also suffered from bouts of depression.  I have been free of depression for the last 3 years though which is great.  The shock treatment does sound quite traumatic doesn't it, I didn't have it myself but I have heard alot of positive things about it.  If Stuart is reading this, I hope things are going well with your wife and she if continuing to get back to how she was.  All the best.  Debbie x

[stuart]

hi cazzy and debra,i was looking into shock treatment,but no longer am,i was at a low point when i posted about trying it.
i need to help her through it with my support.
wife if anything isnt getting any better,but i think she doesnt help herself,she goes to bed at 7pm wakes at 7-30am to take daughter to school,then goes back to bed at 10am-1pm,i feel as tho she is hiding from the world,and i dont hear anything from her nurse either,doesnt visit our home at all.
i have to push her to helping around the house,i sometimes wonder if she puts it all on,and hides behind her illness? stuart x

[Debra]

Hi Stuart

It sounds like your wife still needs some company and support.  Do a charity called Homestart operate in your area? I should know as I am a volunteer for them in my area, I can find out for you if you like.  They offer support and companionship to families with children under the age of 5.  A volunteer comes out for 2 hours a week and provides friendship, someone to talk to etc.  They came out to me when I was recovering from pp.  You are elegible for any number of reasons including just loneliness.  Worth looking into or maybe there is a similar charity if you don't have homestart in your area.

Hope this helps,
all the best, Debra

[liz mccallum]

Hi Stuart, I have spoke to you before but after reading the replies about ECT I just had to write about this subject. We did not have an option about our daughter receiving ect. The decision was taken away from us by the hospital. They sectioned her and told us if this didn't work she would never get out of hospital. They had tried all the drugs on offer but they did not work. My daughter was in a world of her own at this time was at risk to herself and others and was not allowed to see her son. I have read all the topics and letters and have noticed that a lot if not all of the mothers who has suffered PP and was put on drugs has had relapses. I can state that after receiving the ect my daughter was off all drugs within a couple of months and now nearly 4 years on has had no relapses. For the people who are writing about ect being horrific, yes it is but it works. It is not what you see in TV (example) Shameless or one flew over a cuckoos nest. It is more human and does not hurt the mother. Sorry for going on but the experience will never leave. It gets better through time.