Finally got a diagnosis after nearly a year.

[kittywife]

I'm new here, but I finally have a diagnosis of puerperal psychosis from my consultant.

Here's a little run down of my story:

I had my daughter in May 2009 and was on top of the world for about 6 weeks following the birth, I even took her into work when she was 2 weeks old to show her off.  I felt physically and psychologically great and wondered what all the fuss over having a newborn was.  She was (and still is) a very good baby - sleeps well, eats well and is good natured.

About 6 weeks after the birth I started having suspicious feelings around my partner (I thought he was too affectionate etc etc, really horrible thoughts) and also thought my parents wanted to take my daughter away from me as a punishment for being a bad child myself.  I got help, but they only diagnosed me with postnatal depression and put me on Citalopram.  However, my suspicious feelings did subside.

Fast foward to Christmas time and my relationships with everyone were beginning to suffer enormously, I felt angry at everybody and wouldn't trust anyone but me to look after my little girl.

By March I was even worse, I went back to work and put a brave face on it. That first week back at work was my little one's first days in nursery, and my Mum looked after her 2 afternoons a week.  Within that first week my daughter was sick numerous times (she isn't a baby who is sick) and I started to believe that my Mum had made her ill on purpose so people would blame me for being a bad mother.  I posted something to this effect on facebook and then a branch of the family who I hardly ever see started posting comments back to me which were not very nice (e.g. that I was lazy and ungrateful etc etc). Also my parents would not speak to me and thought I was looking for excuses to leave work.

This all culminated in me thinking that all my family were trying to take my baby from me, and that they had planted devices around my house to make me mad and to get me to do something terrible. One afternoon I totally lost it and although I did not attack a family member they ended up critically ill in hospital (massive heart attack), thankfully they are ok now but the police arrested me and I'm now awaiting a decision from the CPS (I'm on bail).

I now have a name for what made me this way, and I am relieved to know that I wasn't bad or evil.  I wish I'd had the right help before the incident. I was in hospital for 6 weeks (3 of that on Section 2). I'm just frightened of what will happen now with the police.

[LisaK]

I am so sorry that all of this happened to you.  But I am glad that you are getting help now.
Hope things go well for you.
Lisa

[Kay]

Aw hun xx You poor thing xx

You are not bad or evil sweety xx you were ill xx

I'm glad your family member is okay now xx

In relation to the cps and being on bail, do you have a solicitor?  You need to get the Police or your solicitor to request your Doctor, the one that diagnosed you with PP to write a report on your behalf for the Police to pass to the CPS regarding your diagnosis of PP and the period you were suffering it for.  This report will be crucial as to whether or not you are charged with any offences hun xx hopefully you won't be once this report has been seen by the CPS, however even if you are all is not lost xx If you are charged with an offence and have to go to court you would be able to have doctors and expert witnesses give evidence on your behalf in relation to PP, the effects, the causes, the symptons and what it can make a person do xx Also in your favour is the section 2 hospital stay which I'm guessing was around the same time?

My advice would be to make sure that your solicitor, the Police and the CPS are aware of your PP as clearly you were suffering it at the time of the offence xx The Police are there to collect ALL the evidence hun, this includes your side of the story and not just the victims evidence.

Out of interest, when the Police interviewed you, were you suffering PP?  Were you seen by a doctor in Custody and did you say anything to the Police when they booked you into Custody about PP, or depression or anything else along those lines?

xx

[kittywife]

When I was arrested I was convinced it was all a play to get me in trouble and that my family had installed cameras in the air vents, so I was seen by the duty doctor and a psych at the police station - that was when I was sectioned too.

The police have had reports from my consultant when I was in hospital - so I am crossing my fingers that the CPS take that into account.  Still a waiting game, as the CPS haven't come to a decision as yet apparently because they have a backlog of cases to assess.

I also have a mental health advocate as well as a solicitor, so all my bases are well covered.

Thanks for your message of support.

[Kay]

Bless you xx

Well sounds like you have quite a good case IMHO xx

The CPS will HAVE to take that into account hun xx How long have you been on bail?  They can't just keep you on bail because of a backlog, that's terrible!  How many times if at all have you been rebailed??  Are they waiting on further evidence?? xx

I'm pleased that you have a mental health advocate as well xx I think if you were to get charged it would be terrible given the circumstances xx

I know I'm being really nosy, lol, tell me to mind my own if you like, have you thought about what you will do if you do get charged and have to go to Court?  xx I would fight it all the way I think xx

How are you doing now with your PP? xx Are you still feeling okay? xx