Hi Anita,
I have avoided Anit-depressants too. Although, I am now seeing a private therapist who is helping me a lot. (She's doing me a discount for £25 per hour once a week) TBH I would be afraid to go through the NHS, I don't want them involved in my business - and it could go on a permanent record somewhere.
My little boy is 15 months old and he is gorgeous, but I am so obsessed with being self-absorbed, more stressed out than ever before in my life and horribly bad tempered. I barely remember how much I wanted to become a Mum.
One of the things my therapist has recommend to me is that I take 2-4 hours a week away from him. Just to go on a cycle ride, or round the shops, or a sit in the park. Something nice for you away from baby and your other half.
I feel quite positive about this, but I am also still breastfeeding and find that I am super resentful that my boyfriend has so much time, while I am constantly being physically in demand.
I hope my reply is helpful for you.
Fiona